I’ve never walked in quiet beauty I don’t bathe the room in light. The words I speak are less of sunshine and more the darkness of night. There are shadows that dance in the corners of my mind…. their shapes twisted, warped, melancholic, swirling wickedly as they wind. I am not warm nor inviting for I was born of ice. In solitude I my comfort seek best left to my own device. I am the woman who is no man’s land I can’t be claimed, owned, nor tamed. I take my own stand, and search for myself.
i am so pastey!!!!!
i hate sunlight! i also like le long hair. i don’t have make-up, i like the all-natural thang… i can work it & reverse it. i say dumb stuff, i’m not funny. i think i am. i’m ice cold, not cool. i’m whitehouse.
i hate combing my hair. i hate being a girl sometimes. i like the result of my first braid attempt. i really love this over-sized knitted sweater i found in my sisters closet.
i’ve been having a little too many dreams about coachella, i may be a little excited… i really want to go again this year. i can’t wait for the release of the line-ups, better yet i can’t wait till they announce when i’ll be able to fight for a ticket. sigh i hope i get to go again… i want it so bad!
You asked me if I think that
you will be enough for me
. My darling look up at me
, tell me what you see
? My small asian eyes are colored by love
…. a raging love
, not a quiet love,
not something I’m too shy
to put up for discussion.
Tell others to ask me what is it about you that captivates me? They’ll tell you I’ve said you moved me , you make me better and even better you make me want to be . You are not a person you are a kind selfless soul, who loves without expecting anything in return. You wonder why I lay silently sometimes in bed in my serenity after being wrapped around one another . I admire you. You are the infinite possibilities for moving forward. Your humor to keep me laughing nonstop, your sweet words that make me feel like the prettiest thing walking around. You calmed me, lifted me.
Do you understand?
I smile when you tell me you might want to experience more. I see the world in you . I wasn’t born with everything or had everything given to me, but I was given space. Space to build, and I want to build with you. To build a home, and a bed….a friday night, and a sunday morning for the two of us. Just the two of us… then three, then four. Don’t you see? I don’t fear the future I am fiercely content with right now. With the moments that will mark us for good, for me being your everything, and anyones dream to give that someone the world. I just want to live this, and let you know you are what I call bliss. You’re more than enough for me and I have the perfect memory to remind me. I can just close my eyes, and see the moment play, when you kissed me on the forehead and whispered I love you.
I want to be held and kissed gently, with sweet things whispered in my ear. I want a poem, written by his hand and his soul, for me and only me. I want anime series and chick flicks to play while we just quietly sit, hand in hand, in blissful silence, but we know that love is always thick in the air between our lips. I miss him already.
My older sissy, love this hoochie as Kenneth calls her lmao.
YES I eat, breathe, and sleep Pink Floyd as well as Star Wars! <3
We took a little trip to Radiator Springs. I LOVE CARS, and he knows that :)
I am having a hard time adjusting.
My body is getting bigger and I am feeling things I have never felt before.
At times, it is extremely depressing (especially days like today, because my ever growing stomach has made it near impossible to wear things I used to find comfortable before and just the thoughts of things which happened in the past seem to rush through my mind at every second of the day.
I tell myself I am doing something special, that I am growing with a purpose, gaining weight with a purpose, but it is tough. I must remind myself everyday that my watery eyes induced by the lovely hormone rushes of pregnancy, the protruding belly, the exhaustion, the emotions, all carry something much more important than myself. They carry with them my children, my twins, and though I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting them, they are the light of my life.
For them, I will
try to stay strong.
For them, I will always feel beautiful, and worthy.
Because if I help create such marvelous beings, then there must be something good about me.