I am sorry If I seem uninterested as we walk through the noise the signs of everything else. It is not that I am bored or sad necessarily. My heart is sitting on the couch in the tranquil living room of the home where I was with you. Just thinking of all we gave up to build a future. I feel no need to speak because it is complete. We have a beautiful creation who fills our lives with bliss. Yes there are questions I still ask but as you walk away I have your thanks in my ears for my humble gifts. Your actions and words make this little separation okay. I am reminded we have time to waste on the more important things. For instance our hearts and ears open to one another forever in a friendship we yet to perfect. But what’s the length of an island or a world when we always have this to return too.
Just like I predicted….my son was born Saturday night at 11:16pm. He weight 7lbs and 1oz and he has the cutest cheeks ever. I am truly blessed to have brought this beauty into the world and I am ever so happy to watch my little man grow.
It felt as though I were a voiceless songbird. The music I could not create trickled down around me. I took a breath and closed my eyes, vibrant hues of red and blue swam inside my lids. Drown out the sound, keep still on moving ground…… I never felt so heavy yet so hollow.
They sat across from one another completely silent. There were only emotionless faces and a constant tapping noise given by her finger tips against the wooden table. The crazy thing about this all was that she once stole his heart, and right after he stole hers. Now they sit there with broken communication, the lack of words made the time seem slower. The awkward silence left the girl pressing her lips together, biting them continuously, and after flicking her eyes from her phone to the window and to lastly end up looking at the floor. I couldn’t understand what it was they were doing there. Unknowingly he had a blank look, and therefore unsightliness innocence grew,
He wanted to slip away from the pain and sorrow this meet was causing. The reason behind that pain remained unknown and although they had a communication breakdown there was always something that kept them together…. an unsung melody of secrets they promised never to tell
Today I woke up with so many thoughts to be written down….
I realized it’s really been a long, but very long time since I’ve actually did some writing. Many of you can probably give a rats ass about what I have to write or what not lol my old blog was the one that got followed by my depression-inspired writing entries/posts. Well I have plenty of time on my hands now…well for now since my son will take most of it upon his arrival. So I’ll be writing more often, in all honesty is something that has always soothe my soul and relaxes me.
This Thursday you can say I got a little inspired and wrote a little piece, once I’m done typing it I’ll be posting it. My life is a maze and perhaps maybe one day I’ll look into all my journals, tumblr quick writes/rants and so on and I’ll know the way and realize everything is in its right place.
nine weeks. scared, excited, scared, happy, lol and way more feelings….. I have come a long way to realize the small things in life and what’s important, what matters, and the wonders of it. expect the unexpected, bliss fills my body.
Monkey see, Monkey do.
A dark side of the moon tribute playing all this morning. Guess after a dark strong storm, the sun will shine way brighter the next morning. It’s good to say, that today I woke up most beautiful and with the most energy I’ve had in my life…. nothing will bring me down ever again. I am content.
I’ve been looking through old journals and writing a lot about my past lately. Just toying with the ideas of memoirs etc. There’s a lot I documented over the years that I’d almost forgotten about. Anyway, here’s what I think would be a great opener for my memoir or a add on to my essay collection…..
I’ve never been to rehab. I’ve read about it. I’ve heard about it. But I’ve never been. Yet somehow, I’m familiar with how it works, because I’ve been committed to a psych ward. Which is pretty much just like rehab except you’re encouraged to take drugs rather than stay away from them, but nobody enjoys it because they’re all too depressed to care……
and well it starts getting a little personal from here. Well only the next three sentences, I’ll keep writing soon, I need a clear head.
My old tumblr blog used to be filled with a lot of my thoughts. A whole new view to my madhouse, whom I like calling my mind, All the crazy thoughts, meaningless rants, absurd ideas, but most importantly and quite my favorite… my little short stories, my capsules of life and so on. Haven’t really expressed myself… really expressed myself in well the best way I know how too. It’s been a while since I sat down in front of my laptop and just typed away words in which would be elegantly tied into a story that would let you travel into a place and time unknown, to become that person’s best friend just by knowing what her mind really consisted of. See? Rant-crazed chick overrrrr herrrrre… lol well I miss writing and I will get on top of that asap, so yeah…. but tonight sleep calls my name so I must respond… I just hope peace is with him.
I guess time heals a lot of things.
I guess I think it doesn’t but looking back, it does.
I guess I can just be really sad.
And cry a lot.
And try to let it out.
And maybe it will go away.
And everything will be decent again.
Not good, but alright.
I hate the way I manage to take matters into my own hands.
And ruin everything.
And probably every chance I get for something to make me…